I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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