I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize