she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
