I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
