I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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