Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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