is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
