Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.