Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
