I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
