Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

after a month anything with tits is on the radar

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(585): View more from New York

This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

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(408): View more from California

How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

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(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...

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(910): View more from North Carolina

11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.

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