so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.