I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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