Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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