I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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