Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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