he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
