I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So many bounce houses so little time
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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