Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
