So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
