I hope mine doesn't look like that
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That accounts for only three of the penises
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
