Whod you bang
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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