That's when you crack a 10am beer
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
