it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
