Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
