similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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