Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
