I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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