And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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