.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
