i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
