I feel like abortions should bother me more
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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