I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
tell me about the fingering
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