You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
