i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
