she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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