i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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