Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
