OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
