i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
