i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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