I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I stole a fireplace last night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
