We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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