you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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