So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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