And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
