I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
