I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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