Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
