he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I AM VODKA MAN
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
