my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize