Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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