he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize