you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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