Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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