I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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