apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your cock deserves a montage
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
