just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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