So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
