SEEEEXXX PLEASE
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
