and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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