glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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