I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize