it hurts more in the daytime
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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