Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
