Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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