I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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