My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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