And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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