doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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