i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You made out with two different species that night
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
