so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
