Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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