Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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